If you've heard of Bollywood- I'd be surprised. An obvious rip-off from the slightly- just slightly- more developed Hollywood film industry, Bollywood dominates the pop culture in Northern India. "C" movies at best, they are usually about 1/3 recylced romance (one plot was Sweet Home Alabama with everyone in saris), 1/3 Chuck Norris karate action, and 1/3 musical... out of control. NOW- if you've ever heard of CHOLLYWOOD... i'd call you a liar. This is Bollywood's stepchild- straight from (CH)ennai- and with as much objectivity and as little judgement as possible- probably the worst thing i've ever seen. The movies that come out of this industry are like bad 70's films- we had them... we loved them... BUT WE STOPPED WATCHING THEM! These people love them, continue to watch them, and don't stop making them! I hate to be critical- this is "culture"! I should be learning actors names, attending sneak previews, and singing songs. If there was netflix here, I should be queing the shit out of these things. BUT- it just doesn't work like that. There are plenty of things in the entertainment business in the States that I think is cheesy and wrong... I think i'm allowed to have a similar opinion here without risking the "closed-minded" scarlet letter... even if I'm branded, it's justified- this is literally, the worst thing you've ever seen.
HOWEVER- this is not to say that if I had the opportunity to appear on Tamil TV, regardless of quality, I would pass up the opportunity. On the contrary, anyone who knows THIS guy, knows that a showbiz STAR lurks just under the surface- and usually makes an appearance with the slightest encouragement... or a few cocktails! SO- when we ran into Nirmal on the bus heading to AVM STUDIOS- the home of South India's film machine- it was only natural that I was led directly on stage, making my first appearance on Tamil TV! Did you catch that his name was Nirmal...
So Nirmal- here's the breakdown: 60 year-old Indian guy who acted like he was 35 and kept having us ask him how old he was, wearing gold-rimmed glasses straight off of "Three's Company", an orange ascics shirt, khakis that were a just too short, 3 gold chains, 2 gold bracelets, and Jerry Seinfeld tennis shoes- this guy was awesome... and, again, his name was NIRMAL.
When he found out we wanted to see the studios, he immediately started listing off all the movies he personally had been in, actors he was friends with, and the exclusive access we'd get to all the sets with him as our guide. He was loud, effusive, course, and extremely excited. We got denied by the first set we approached, naturally. Undefeated, Nirmal takes us to the neighboring set and, lying through HIS TEETH, gets us into a full-blown tv show. Pointing at me, he starts yelling that I am a Hollywood actor. "He has starred in... 20 FILMS!" "Please let him in, he is visiting... FROM HOLLYWOOD!" This guy was insane- but the most ridiculous part was, they believed him.
And picture us: I was in dirty clothes from traveling that couldn't have smelled worse. Kyle had spilled coconut chutney all over his shirt and hadn't shaved in months. Haley was sweating like a pig and Ryan, jet-lagged and reeling, was falling asleep... Hollywood would have been proud!
Before we knew it, we were being ushered into the "live audience"- which consisted of 20 Indian guys yelling in Tamil, grabbing our hands and laughing hysterically- each one had the most enormous moustache. Within minutes, the music starts playing, the camera is in our face, and we are dancing like cobras- My hands are above my head, i'm waving my neck around, flicking my tongue, my eyes are swivelling back and forth- full blown, dirty, American cobra! As soon as that's done, we are pushed on stage for the grand finale. There we are, jumping in circles, half-yelling half-yoddling, not really sure if they are loving us or thinking, "These are the most ridiculous Americans we've ever seen..." Not sure. Don't care. We took pictures with the stars, rattled off a few Hollywood movies and Broadway plays we performed in, and got the hell out of there. 3 Days in Chennai, 2 hours dominating the Chennai movie complex, 1 Nirmal. Dancing like cobras on Indian TV- Priceless!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY
33 hours from Delhi to Chennai- a train straight through the heart of the Indian Subcontinent. Traveling never lets you rest- an obvious conundrum, because weariness is never far behind. As soon as you feel like you are starting to make connections, establish roots, gain confidence- a precarious balance of comfort and routine- you realize how, without much effort, the world can never be predicted. Sometimes upsetting, other times thrilling- always a lesson in humor and humility.
I experienced this once I left my place in Delhi- a well-oiled machine, if that's even possible here. A few choice restaurant-dhabbas, my own aloo tikki walla, friends at my hostel, and a partial but satisfactory understanding of the cities' bus routes. Now I am once again on the move- and in Southern India- fast, crowded, and very different. The language barrier is more pronounced- with very little in English and even less likelihood of us acquiring any Tamil fluency. Food has changed, scenery went from urban to tropical, and the weather has brought warmth, sweat and giant mosquitoes.
But beyond the obvious cultural shifts from North to South, the most unexpected has been in the people- their attitudes- their mannerisms- their lack of patience- and often times, their rudeness. Ubiquitous and consistent, we are met with short-tempers and dismissive gestures. People will help but expect rewards. The language used is forceful and unnecessary. Why this change of character? Why is it so widespread? I have a hard time seperating culture from personality when some people act so gracious and others so unkind.
Today on the bus, we had the conductor charge us an extra 30 rupees for our bags. In the past weeks, we've taken about 5 buses and never have been charged. We were on the same bus as in the morning, they didn't charge us. Our bags were in a place for baggage. No Indians got charged. It's only about 75 cents- but where do you draw the line? He didn't want to give me change from my bus fare, so he charged me way extra- the same cost of my ticket. Now I could say that, in the long run, it's of little consequence. I could easily keep my mouth shut and avoid conflict. BUT- how do you address the problem without conflict- standing up for yourself while being peaceful but clear? If you never do, you will constantly be taken advantage of. If you react, you only contribute to a dislike and a distrust in foreign travelers.
A TRAVELLER'S WISH- ONCE GONE, TO HAVE LEFT A BETTER IMPRESSION THAN BEFORE I CAME.
What is the peaceful path? What is the human path? The person next to me said, "The problem is English." I said, "No, the problem is money." Which is correct? And why do we both feel like the other is wrong?
Another example- we went into a guest house and looked at a room. The price was good and the room was acceptable. I left to look at the guest house next door and while I was gone, the owners of the previous hostel started yelling at my friend that the room was no longer available. When I returned, they yelled the same to me, and refused to explain. Rudeness can be understood through foreign words. They thrust their hands in my face and motioned me to leave. So I said, "Why are you doing this? Why are you being so rude? It is completely unnecessary to treat someone like this. I am not waving my hands in your face and yelling. There are better ways to interact- and your actions are mean." But what did that accomplish? What was their motive? So much is lost in translation-
Regardless of language or culture, there is a sense of humanity, kindness and authenticity- some people have it, some do not. And here, you never know what to expect until it's in your face... a friendly cup of chai or a thrashing, obviously impolite hand gesture.
I experienced this once I left my place in Delhi- a well-oiled machine, if that's even possible here. A few choice restaurant-dhabbas, my own aloo tikki walla, friends at my hostel, and a partial but satisfactory understanding of the cities' bus routes. Now I am once again on the move- and in Southern India- fast, crowded, and very different. The language barrier is more pronounced- with very little in English and even less likelihood of us acquiring any Tamil fluency. Food has changed, scenery went from urban to tropical, and the weather has brought warmth, sweat and giant mosquitoes.
But beyond the obvious cultural shifts from North to South, the most unexpected has been in the people- their attitudes- their mannerisms- their lack of patience- and often times, their rudeness. Ubiquitous and consistent, we are met with short-tempers and dismissive gestures. People will help but expect rewards. The language used is forceful and unnecessary. Why this change of character? Why is it so widespread? I have a hard time seperating culture from personality when some people act so gracious and others so unkind.
Today on the bus, we had the conductor charge us an extra 30 rupees for our bags. In the past weeks, we've taken about 5 buses and never have been charged. We were on the same bus as in the morning, they didn't charge us. Our bags were in a place for baggage. No Indians got charged. It's only about 75 cents- but where do you draw the line? He didn't want to give me change from my bus fare, so he charged me way extra- the same cost of my ticket. Now I could say that, in the long run, it's of little consequence. I could easily keep my mouth shut and avoid conflict. BUT- how do you address the problem without conflict- standing up for yourself while being peaceful but clear? If you never do, you will constantly be taken advantage of. If you react, you only contribute to a dislike and a distrust in foreign travelers.
A TRAVELLER'S WISH- ONCE GONE, TO HAVE LEFT A BETTER IMPRESSION THAN BEFORE I CAME.
What is the peaceful path? What is the human path? The person next to me said, "The problem is English." I said, "No, the problem is money." Which is correct? And why do we both feel like the other is wrong?
Another example- we went into a guest house and looked at a room. The price was good and the room was acceptable. I left to look at the guest house next door and while I was gone, the owners of the previous hostel started yelling at my friend that the room was no longer available. When I returned, they yelled the same to me, and refused to explain. Rudeness can be understood through foreign words. They thrust their hands in my face and motioned me to leave. So I said, "Why are you doing this? Why are you being so rude? It is completely unnecessary to treat someone like this. I am not waving my hands in your face and yelling. There are better ways to interact- and your actions are mean." But what did that accomplish? What was their motive? So much is lost in translation-
Regardless of language or culture, there is a sense of humanity, kindness and authenticity- some people have it, some do not. And here, you never know what to expect until it's in your face... a friendly cup of chai or a thrashing, obviously impolite hand gesture.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)