SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

33 hours from Delhi to Chennai- a train straight through the heart of the Indian Subcontinent. Traveling never lets you rest- an obvious conundrum, because weariness is never far behind. As soon as you feel like you are starting to make connections, establish roots, gain confidence- a precarious balance of comfort and routine- you realize how, without much effort, the world can never be predicted. Sometimes upsetting, other times thrilling- always a lesson in humor and humility.
I experienced this once I left my place in Delhi- a well-oiled machine, if that's even possible here. A few choice restaurant-dhabbas, my own aloo tikki walla, friends at my hostel, and a partial but satisfactory understanding of the cities' bus routes. Now I am once again on the move- and in Southern India- fast, crowded, and very different. The language barrier is more pronounced- with very little in English and even less likelihood of us acquiring any Tamil fluency. Food has changed, scenery went from urban to tropical, and the weather has brought warmth, sweat and giant mosquitoes.
But beyond the obvious cultural shifts from North to South, the most unexpected has been in the people- their attitudes- their mannerisms- their lack of patience- and often times, their rudeness. Ubiquitous and consistent, we are met with short-tempers and dismissive gestures. People will help but expect rewards. The language used is forceful and unnecessary. Why this change of character? Why is it so widespread? I have a hard time seperating culture from personality when some people act so gracious and others so unkind.
Today on the bus, we had the conductor charge us an extra 30 rupees for our bags. In the past weeks, we've taken about 5 buses and never have been charged. We were on the same bus as in the morning, they didn't charge us. Our bags were in a place for baggage. No Indians got charged. It's only about 75 cents- but where do you draw the line? He didn't want to give me change from my bus fare, so he charged me way extra- the same cost of my ticket. Now I could say that, in the long run, it's of little consequence. I could easily keep my mouth shut and avoid conflict. BUT- how do you address the problem without conflict- standing up for yourself while being peaceful but clear? If you never do, you will constantly be taken advantage of. If you react, you only contribute to a dislike and a distrust in foreign travelers.
A TRAVELLER'S WISH- ONCE GONE, TO HAVE LEFT A BETTER IMPRESSION THAN BEFORE I CAME.
What is the peaceful path? What is the human path? The person next to me said, "The problem is English." I said, "No, the problem is money." Which is correct? And why do we both feel like the other is wrong?
Another example- we went into a guest house and looked at a room. The price was good and the room was acceptable. I left to look at the guest house next door and while I was gone, the owners of the previous hostel started yelling at my friend that the room was no longer available. When I returned, they yelled the same to me, and refused to explain. Rudeness can be understood through foreign words. They thrust their hands in my face and motioned me to leave. So I said, "Why are you doing this? Why are you being so rude? It is completely unnecessary to treat someone like this. I am not waving my hands in your face and yelling. There are better ways to interact- and your actions are mean." But what did that accomplish? What was their motive? So much is lost in translation-
Regardless of language or culture, there is a sense of humanity, kindness and authenticity- some people have it, some do not. And here, you never know what to expect until it's in your face... a friendly cup of chai or a thrashing, obviously impolite hand gesture.