I don't care if you're 75- PEDAL!

I imagine there's not a well-established social security system here. I'm not sure- but just a guess. Most of the Indian elderly aren't out playing bridge and driving golf carts around Boca Raton. I'm not saying that the average American senior citizen is not productive or active- just that the old folks seem to have more luxuries available to them back home. In India, that luxury comes in the form of 3 wheels, no brakes, a basket carriage and sometimes a portable short-wave radio. Enter the Bicycle Rickshaw.

This is one of the funnest, most dangerous, slowest, most humiliating and awkwardly Indian mode of transportation i've run into yet. These guys are everywhere- willing to throw you in their basket and pedal anywhere in the city. There's an average of 15 or so on every corner and about 200 at each train station, bus stop and taxi stand. It doesn't matter how many you've said no to, the next one will invariably yell "Hey friend- rickshaw- where you go- 40 rupees- we go". Sometimes the driver is blacked out and snoring, expertly balancing his weight so he can stretch from his third wheel to the handlebars- fully prostrate. And almost all of them are old... really old.

The first one I took was with my two friends Kyle and Tony. We didn't know where we were going and we really wanted to take one of these- the first guy we came across was about 70 years old. Of course, being stingy travels and ALWAYS on the look out for scams- we bargained him to about 55 cents. He grabbed the handle bars, mounted up, and could barely get his trusty steed moving... we were too heavy, and he was too old. He weighed 100 pounds... maybe. He was 5 foot tall... maybe. When he stood up, put all his weight on the pedal, and still could barely get us going- I exploded in nervous, uncontrollable laughter. I couldn't help it! I pictured making my great grandpa pedal my ass for 3 miles and tossing him 50 cents- it was absurd. When he got off the bike and started pulling, I covered my mouth, muffled my laughs, and threw in a few extra rupees.

The next time I took one of these rickshaws was on a whim- I was far off from my hostel and I didn't know what bus to take. This guy pulled up beside me and before I could ascertain his age, I threw out my destination. He was about 68, 110 pounds. I haggled, of course. I got him to take me about 4 miles for 75 cents- which in local terms is way too much, but I just can't bring myself to do that to someone who's almost triple my age... we'll see how I feel in a few months. Now this trip falls into the "dangerous" category. If you can imagine the hierarchy on the road- you're got huge buses (lots of them), droves of cars, fleets of mopeds, hundreds of 3-wheeler autorickshaws (awesome, but more expensive) and then bicycles... which one gets run over?? But the biker doesn't even blink- we're weaving in and out of traffic, running red lights, going down the wrong side of the road. And all at about 3 miles/hour. The geriatric can barely swing his leg over the handle bars let alone get me going from a dead standstill, uphill, over a speed bump. As we literally creep through the intersection, about 30 sets of headlights and 85 horns are all directed directly at us- an American tourist in the back of some wooden antique, pulled by the oldest man in Delhi. Needless to say, there aren't any seatbelts.